It’s rumored that Benjamin Franklin once said, “The only guarantees in life are death and taxes”. While we totally agree with Mr. Franklin’s sentiment, we’d like to offer a little revision. The only guarantees in life are death, taxes, and clogging someone’s toilet at the absolute worst moment — a date, a family gathering, your office — you name it and all of a sudden soiled water starts to hit your ass as your life flashes before your very eyes. We’re positive, that no matter who you are, you can conjure a memory like this, and because of that, it’s time for things to change! Sit back, relax, and let us teach you how to plunge a toilet without a plunger. Who knows? It could save your life some day.

The video above is a more boiled down version. Now, we’d really like to get into the nitty gritty details. Of course, we all know the reasons why you’d have to unclog a toilet, so, let’s just be adults here and completely ignore the brown elephant in the room.

How To Unclog A Toilet Without A Plunger

• For starters, you’re going to want to turn the sink on, full blast! Make sure the water coming out is as hot as humanly possible. It might get a little steamy in there, but it’s better than the alternative — having to tell the owner of the toilet that you violated their bathroom.
• While the water continues to heat up, go ahead and find some soap to dump in the toilet. If this person is a barbarian and doesn’t have hand soap, grab some shampoo or body wash. This will act as a necessary lubricant — which, is perhaps the least sexual reference to lubricants we ever used on this site.
• Now, find yourself a cup or container to fill up with the hot water. The bigger the better, but beggars can’t be choosers.
• You’re going to need to dump about a gallon of hot water into the toilet — if the water starts to overflow before you reach a gallon, stop. You can adjust these guidelines as needed.
• Once the water and soap start to work their magic, the clog should start to clear up and the water should go down! At that point, you can flush.
• In the event that doesn’t work and now you’ve created a big, soapy, hot, poop mess — the next best option is to use your hands. Yes, you read that correct, use your hands. Grab a towel, or plastic bag, wrap your hand around it and relieve the clog manually.

That about sums it up, guys! We know it’s not the most glamorous or sexy topic on the planet, but, hey! Everybody poops, remember that — even the world’s most beautiful, powerful, dynamic people go to the bathroom and we bet, dollars to donuts, they’ve clogged a toilet before.

Lead Image Via Getty